Co-Parenting for Dummies… and Smarties, too!
A GUIDE TO CO-PARENT COMMUNICATIONS
While it isn’t rocket science, it can be surprisingly difficult to communicate with the person you used to be married to. Old habits die hard and if you and s/he had a hard time listening to, not criticizing, or understanding each other before, chances are good that after divorce communications will also be a challenge. Add to this the residual feelings you might have about your marriage and what went wrong, coupled with the intensity of dealing with child related issues through and after divorce, managing all of the scheduling back and forth….well, you get the point----it just isn’t easy!!
As a family and...
This December Don’t Dread Divorces
by John Fiske
Wanted: Diverse Divorce Practitioners. Why Diversity is Good for All of Us
By Valerie Qian
Cultural competence and sensitivity to the needs of diverse clients are an essential part of being an effective and successful professional.
My father-in-law recently underwent surgery to remove a kidney stone. It happened at a big hospital in New York City which, I understand, has an excellent urology department. As a first-generation immigrant from Shanghai, my father-in-law speaks limited English. After the surgery, while he was...
It has been an honor to serve for two years as MCFM President. Now if I could only convince Mr. Trump of the value of a two-year presidency. . . but, back to reality.
Our profession is extraordinarily important as we encourage parties to actually listen to and to hear the real (i.e., non-fake) needs and interests of each other. Whether their needs and interests intersect only a bit or a lot, in one place or in several, it is our job to help them to see and strengthen those intersection(s).
Easier Said Than Done
Though it is easier said than done, like our Senator Warren, we Persist. We seek connections that have been lost or perhaps were never sufficiently strong. We promote disclosure in situations that can be fraught with mistrust, suspicion, and secrecy. We encourage looking forward through the whole, wide windshield in front of us and not back through the small rearview mirror, as Kate Fanger taught me.
In Memoriam: June Adams Johnson
Our friend and colleague June Adams Johnson passed away on April 18, 2018 in her home in Groton, MA, surrounded by family and accompanied by the music of the Threshold Singers of Indian Hill Music. She was a wonderful person and a valued member of our Mediators Education and Support Group, which meets monthly in Interpeople’s offices in Littleton, MA. Her passing was sudden and we still feel shocked and bereft.
June was born June Louise Adams in Portland, Maine, on June 1, 1939. She leaves behind her devoted (second) husband, Steve Lieman, four adult children, five grandchildren and one great-granddaughter.
June graduated high school as...
2020: A VISION FOR THE FUTURE OF MCFM
As the 24th President of MCFM, it is a formidable task to pen a President’s message. In thinking about all that I would like to convey, I was struck by the fact that my presidency will span the years 2018-2020.
The irony of 2020 did not escape me. The familiar maxim that “hindsight is 20-20” is commonly understood to mean that we don’t always see clearly in the moment and that we only gain a perfect view of events after they have transpired - - that is, we are better able to evaluate past choices in retrospect rather than at the time of the occurrence.
But what if one had the benefit of an amazing Board of Directors who brings a perfect equipoise of past experience and fresh insights? And, what if one had the benefit of energetic and...
“The Generous Prenup: How to Support Your Marriage and Avoid the Pitfalls”
by Laurie Israel
As some of you may know, I spent a good part of the past 3 years writing a book about prenups. Our mediation (and law) practices sometimes take interesting turns. I started out as a tax lawyer, and then morphed into a general practice lawyer, concentrating on family law and estate planning. I’ve been practicing for a little over 30 years.
About 10 years ago, after representing a number clients in prenup negotiations, I wrote an article called “Ten Things I Hate about Prenuptial Agreements” and posted it online. This was during the relative infancy of the World Wide Web. Because the article was written by a lawyer, and because it...
The Amygdala Diaries
by David Kellem
Mediators are challenged to guide clients through a lot of obstacles along the way to settlement. One physically small but stealthy and strong obstacle is the human amygdala. Amygdalae are almond-shaped organs in the left and right hemispheres of our brains that can subconsciously derail rational negotiation.
The amygdala, it turns out, is the root of some of our less-rational and more problematic behaviors. It has been identified as a primary organ of the paleomamillian mind - the mind of early human beings who spent their days mostly just trying to survive in a hostile world full of beasts of prey and other physical threats. The amygdala is an alarm system and an army all in one. If it senses...